Gay Adoption

the long and winding road to becoming a 'forever family'

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whatmakesyouunique asked: So I am doing a research paper on GLBT adoption rights, and I'd love to hear from a real couple. So if you wouldn't mind sharing your story with me sometime. I would love to include this in my paper with my follow up speech.

Happy to help! If there is anything more you’d like to know after trawling this Tumblr just ask away.

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Quick update

Our three children have been living with us for a few months now; utterly shattered but loving being daddies! We have met up with their foster carers on a couple of occasions, so that the kids knew they were still okay (and vice versa) which went really well and so the plan is to maintain regular face-to-face contact with the foster family.

The eldest child is incredibly testing, but can be equally lovely and luckily we are receiving good support to help deal with attachment issues. The youngest two are bundles of joy, smiles and laughter (although they do produce a mountain of poo-filled nappies each day). Now that my partner is back at work I am at home with the three kids which can often be a very stressful experience, but I’m sure it’ll get easier!

Taking on three kids at once was a little crazy, and I sometimes feel outnumbered, overwhelmed and think ‘what have I done?!’ but then they do something cute or say something sweet and it all makes it worthwhile.

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Matched!

This will be the last post for some while, as life is about to become very busy. We recently went to matching panel, and they unanimously recommended the match we have been hoping for. We begin introductions soon, and in a few weeks we will become a family of five! Thanks for reading this tumblr. I will post updates if I get the chance.

Cheers.

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Adoption Placement Report

We recently met with our new Social Worker who presented to us medical records of the children and their parents. Strangely we were not allowed to look at them ourselves, but she proceeded to read them off word-for-word (which seemed to defeat the object of us not being able to see them). Various pieces information were new to us, because the parents had disclosed to medical advisers information which they had withheld from Social Care staff. Whilst shocking and highly concerning, the new information obviously hasn’t dented our determination to adopt these kids. 

The children’s social worker has e-mailed us a copy of her Adoption Placement Report which combines information from the Child Permanence Report, Prospective Adopters Report as well as findings from the her meetings with us over the past few months. For a report which is tens of pages in length, it was surprisingly enjoyable to read. It’s clear the children’s social worker has a deep and accurate understanding of our strengths as prospective parents. We now have to add our own comments to the report before it is submitted to Panel, detailing why we think we are suitable parents for these particular children among other things.

Lather this month we will meet with CHAMS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) to discuss the support package they will provide post-adoption. We also have the ‘Life Appreciation Day’ to look forward to. It’s all moving very quickly now!

Filed under gay adoption report social worker medical

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Amazing! An incredibly generous friend of ours donated a jam-packed carful of toys, games, clothes and books. We can’t wait to start enjoying these goodies with our little ones.

Amazing! An incredibly generous friend of ours donated a jam-packed carful of toys, games, clothes and books. We can’t wait to start enjoying these goodies with our little ones.

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Happy New Year folks!
At the end of 2011, for reasons not entirely clear to myself, I decided to visually map out our adoption experience so far. The whole process started in September 2009, and is possibly close to bearing fruit!
As you can see it’s a fairly complex map with plenty of twists and turns. Now imagine if a similar map was produced for each of the three children, and they all met at the point of introductions (the final box on our map at the moment). When you imagine how complex that would appear, it’s a miracle that any adoptions take place at all. I look forward to extending the map with joyous data such as the date the children move in, and hopefully no more boxes detailing needless delays.
In other news, our Social Worker is off on a sabbatical for a few months so we have just been assigned a new one. Luckily she’s not entirely unknown to us; a couple of years ago she delivered our Pre-Approval Training, and this time last year she undertook our Second Opinion Report once the main report on us had been submitted. She is however totally new to this case and hasn’t met anybody from the other agency yet. It’s all a bit tense seeing as Matching Panel is happening in exactly one month, but she seems very on-the-ball so we’re confident she’ll rise to the challenge!

Happy New Year folks!

At the end of 2011, for reasons not entirely clear to myself, I decided to visually map out our adoption experience so far. The whole process started in September 2009, and is possibly close to bearing fruit!

As you can see it’s a fairly complex map with plenty of twists and turns. Now imagine if a similar map was produced for each of the three children, and they all met at the point of introductions (the final box on our map at the moment). When you imagine how complex that would appear, it’s a miracle that any adoptions take place at all. I look forward to extending the map with joyous data such as the date the children move in, and hopefully no more boxes detailing needless delays.

In other news, our Social Worker is off on a sabbatical for a few months so we have just been assigned a new one. Luckily she’s not entirely unknown to us; a couple of years ago she delivered our Pre-Approval Training, and this time last year she undertook our Second Opinion Report once the main report on us had been submitted. She is however totally new to this case and hasn’t met anybody from the other agency yet. It’s all a bit tense seeing as Matching Panel is happening in exactly one month, but she seems very on-the-ball so we’re confident she’ll rise to the challenge!

Filed under gay adoption social worker map of the process adoption process